Beef and Hat Eating Cantaloupes

One thing I have noticed in my life is that Beef has a certain tendency to be rather amazing. I find it so incredibly.... incredible that even when my mind is occupied by other things it will worm it's way into the cesspool that is my thoughts. Beef is a part of my ssooouuulll!

And so, in an attempt to quell the ever present desire for beef, on one cold, lonely evening I found myself googling beef! Through that peculiar meandering pathway that is the internet I eventually made my way to Urban Dictionary.

What I found there rather disturbed me.

I had never seen such blatant disrespect for my most beloved of luncheon meats! There were various references to fights... farts and.. rappers... (huh?) that I just did not understand and so I made a plan. I would show the world the true meaning of Beef! I would bring respect back to the most delicious of all edible and non-edible foods. The true impressiveness of the Sunday Roast (the meal not the small child) shall be revealed to all.

The following is what I wrote. The last time I checked it was to be seen as the 32nd definition of Beef in Urban Dictionary. :)

Beef
Possibly the manliest sounding word in the dictionary.
Try shouting it, grunting it, mumbling it or demanding it. Beef meat is also amazing so to show your appreciation for the word, beef must be used at least once in every sentence.
BEEEEFF!
Its fun! (manly voices only. girly, high pitched BEEFS! are unacceptable. To shout beef in this manner is deemed as an insult to anything and everything within earshot and thus is punishable by an extremely hard smack across the back of the head. Other more creative methods of punishment are encouraged)

Beef is also an effective word for clearing ones throat!
ie. instead of *cough cough* *grunt grunt* *cough*
try *cough cough* BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!! *cough cough*
Beef backwards is feeb.
1. Instead of shouting "THIS IS SPARTAAAAAAA!!"
try shouting "BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEF!!!!" as your next war cry

How to use it in every sentence...
2. Random 1: Did you go to Miranda's beef party last night?
Random 2: Yeah I heard the party beef food was amazing!
Random 3: Meh it was nothing beefy special.
Random 1: Yeah I suppose your right beef beef. The best part of the party was when the cantelope ate my hat.